Running--er, JOGGING for charity

The St. John's annual Sunshine Run was October 14th. Part of the proceeds from the 5K went to THE BREAST CANCER FOUNDATION OF THE OZARKS--a charity I am particularly fond of and if you have money to give away, well, they are the real deal. Anyway, I decided to run in the 5K race.

I had not run a race since I ran cross country in high school (just a FEW years ago). Running is something I do to stay in shape, to get the proper amount of aerobic exercise, and you could say I'm addicted to the endorphins. That is enough motivation for me, although I admit I do have a running shoe ad taped on my fridge that reads: I COULD SPEND MORE TIME REDECORATING MY PLACE. It would give me a feeling of accomplishment. And I wouldn't feel guilty if I skipped a few days of redecorating. But picking out paint colors wouldn't make my butt look better in jeans. Keep running....

The 5K race was at 7:30 in the morning-ugh! I never run in the morning; studies have shown that your body does best running in the early afternoon. That should have been my first clue that it might be a little difficult. I don't run for speed, I run for endurance and currently am running for an hour 3 times a week. The distance is between 6-7 miles. And, did I mention that I run on hills? rocky hills? uphill both ways? That may be a little stretch but I figured a short little 3.1 mile race on the flat pavement would be a piece of cake! Boy, was I ever humbled!

First of all, I wasn't sure how to prepare myself. I drink a lot of water every day and so I started by getting up at 4 am to eat breakfast and proceeded to drink three liters of water! Not smart for a 40 year old woman who has had 4 kids, if you know what I mean. I nearly missed the start of the race because I had to pee!

As if bladder control wasn't a big enough problem, I locked my keys in my car. Well, not all of my keys. I had nightmares for days before the race, thinking I was going to lock my keys in my car because, well, that's just me. Sure enough, I took the key off of my keychain, put it in my secret zipper pocket in my running pants, ran to the bathroom with my jacket on because it was so cold, and when I went back to my car to put my jacket inside, the key I had removed was actually the ignition key and it wouldn't open the doors!

So, here I am 2 blocks from the starting line and the race is starting in 2 minutes. I still have my [heavy] jacket on, which I cannot possibly run in so after sprinting to where I'm supposed to be, I see a kindly looking woman and asked her to hold my jacket. She said "sure" and I asked her where I could find her after the race. She said she'd drop it off at the lost and found booth and I told her just to take it to the BREAST CANCER FOUNDATION (BCFO) booth.

It's 35 degrees, I'm struggling for air after sprinting and stressed because I have to be at work as soon as the race is over and I can't get in my car. There are 1500 people crowded onto Walnut street, packed together like sardines and I have to PEE. What was I thinking?

The emcee counts down from 10 and we are off! This is a RACE and I am wedged in between all of these people and start moving my feet but for some reason, I'm not going anywhere. Finally, the crowd starts to thin a little as the "good" runners pull away from the crowd. I am starting to get into a rhythm and look down at the ground and see a wallet, thinking "who would have their wallet in their pants during a race?". Then I looked up just in time to collide with the moron who dropped his wallet and had turned around in the swarm of forward moving bodies to run back for it. AAAAGGHH! We hit so hard that I nearly fell down and I shouted "DAMMIT!" without thinking, amid a group of schoolchildren.

Suddenly, my body started feeling very strange. I don't know if it was the cold, the sudden impact or just the adrenaline rush but I started hurting all over. It felt as if my legs would not hold me up and my chest felt like it was being crushed (and I had to Pee). I slowed my pace and just kept going, running through the discomfort (that's putting it lightly). Little kids and women pushing baby strollers were passing me! This was NOT my idea of fun!

The last half mile of the race I finally regained my strength and kicked it into high gear, but it was too late. I finished 3.1 miles in a little over 27 minutes.

I went to the BCFO booth and the nice lady had, indeed left my jacket there. I then used a friend's cell phone to call POP-A-LOCK. The lady was very helpful but then she said she had to have a credit card number to make sure I was good for the money. I sort of lost it then and took out my frustration on this poor woman who was only trying to do her job. It's not her fault that there are so many LOSERS who don't pay for services rendered. I told her that if I had my purse with me, I would also have my keys and THEN I WOULDN'T NEED THEIR HELP!! SHEESH!

After my little melt-down, she said I could just pay with a check; the man came within 15 minutes, had the car open within 20 seconds and I was on my way. It was an experience I will not soon forget and now that it's over , I can say that I will probably do it again next year!